Great news: The first unstolen bike is ready to release, thanks to a source known only as Li. This is a bike-shop-quality mountain bike that was retired and then rejuvenated. It can be yours for free if your bike was recently stolen. Within a few days I'll email the bike's general location (within a radius of a few blocks in Portland, Oregon) and lock combo to everyone who qualifies; first finder is the keeper.
So how do you qualify? If your bike got ripped off and you desperately need transpo, email me by midnight Thursday and tell me your story. Don't bother BSing, 'cause 1) the bike really isn't any prize pig, and 2) I work as an editor, so I know crap when I hear it. Tell me how tall you are and what your inseam length is so I can make sure you'll fit. If you won't, I'll keep your entry on hand for the next release.
If you win the bike, use it as long as you need to, then pass it on to someone else in need.
I'm hoping this is the first of many "unstolen" bikes I'll build and release, and I could use your help. Do you have any frames, wheels, or parts lying around that are (mostly) mechanically sound but ordinary or obsolete, and scratched up or otherwise uglified? I'm talking stuff that you might not even bother taking to a swap meet. If you want to get rid of them, let me know and I'll pick them up.